Across kitchen tables and group chats, a quiet question is surfacing among American women: What if we just left?
It’s not a fantasy of palm trees or European cafés—it’s a question born out of fear and fatigue. A recent Gallup poll found that 40 percent of U.S. women aged 15 to 44 want to move abroad permanently, double the rate of the general population. For many, the reason is simple and staggering: they no longer feel safe here.
Fear Has Become a Family Value
For this generation of women—many of them mothers—the threat of gun violence has woven itself into the fabric of daily life. Whether it’s the specter of another school shooting or stories of racialized police brutality, violence now dictates choices about where to live, where to learn, and even how to exist in public spaces.
“I started looking up cities in Ireland,” said Emma Stamper, a Denver resident raising two young children. “It’s not that I want to run away—it’s that I want to breathe without wondering if the next breaking news alert is about my community.”
Her words echo a national unease. In 2025 alone, the United States recorded more mass shootings than calendar days. Each incident chips away at the illusion of normalcy, leaving families trapped between love of country and loss of safety.
The Freedom Found Abroad
Those who have left describe a different rhythm of living. During a sabbatical in Europe, one American couple noticed how children roamed freely, walking to school without fear. Parents weren’t burdened by the invisible weight of “what if.” The wife—a university professor—said it best: “It wasn’t only about being safer. It was about feeling cared for, collectively.”
For Imani Bashir, an American journalist who moved abroad a decade ago to protect her young son, that sense of collective safety was everything. “We wanted a place where our family wasn’t a target,” she once wrote. When she later returned to the U.S., the unease returned, too—a constant vigilance, a scanning of surroundings that never turns off.
The Quiet Crisis of Belonging
Despite the fear and disillusionment, few are ready to move tomorrow. Uprooting a life is no small act. But what this rising desire reveals is a spiritual migration—a growing number of Americans no longer recognizing the nation they grew up believing in.
For many women, patriotism now coexists with heartbreak. They still hope this country can change, but the promise feels thinner each year. And as reports of shootings, disinformation, and political paralysis continue to flood the news, more are looking outward—not for adventure, but for peace.
Source: Jessica Grose, “When American Violence Becomes Too Much for Families”, The NY Times
